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(I’d never seen a blue-collar person on JDate.) When he called his voice was sexy and raspy and I didn’t realize it was because he’d pulled an all-night welding shift, and by the time I realized he actually was a welder it was too late because I’d already accepted a date. I was Postscript: The Author did, in fact, go back on JDate, but sadly, did not meet her husband on the site. My Facebook profile says I’m “Married to Haley Moss Dillon,” and has for the last four years. These Facebook “marriages” between best friends have become the digital iteration of friendship necklaces, two halves of a heart, bought at Claire’s and displayed as a proclamation.We went out on-and-off for a year, and this is not to JDate’s credit, because we were ill-suited and incompatible, and even though it’s taboo, I’ll say this: It was because of our class differences, and by this I mean education, money, values and social circles, and if it were not for JDate we never would have met at all. But they have practical applications beyond letting the world know that you love and are loved.
Even though it’s more like we’re at tryouts for a freak show and trying to come up with the best or worst stories.
But I’ve found, as someone who has been on more than fifty first dates in the last ten years, it’s not the worst stories that get to you; not the guy who tries to choke you while kissing you “because you’re wearing a choker, so I thought you’d like it”; or the hottie who, in the middle of the date, accidentally texts you, “Date’s not going too well”; or the one who reveals he’s a dumpster diver by diving into a pile of garbage before dinner (after dinner have been OK).
I dreaded from the pit of my ice-cream-and-booze-filled stomach the torrent of “OMG what happened?
” and “:(“ from people I barely knew, and even worse, the congratulations from people who never liked my ex.
There was no way to reconcile that with my fiancé’s plan to raise three Russian-speaking children in Bensonhurst, ASAP. I told myself that ending it was the mature thing to do.
I’d rather be single while I was young than end up a middle-aged divorcee, my figure destroyed by the three kids I didn’t even want. I cut my hair flapper-short, dug out the red lipstick, and bought a new Victoria’s Secret push-up bra.
My last JDate boyfriend was great and sweet and smart, but in the end, he didn’t really want a long-term relationship—not that it stopped him from pretending he did on the website. When I was nineteen I got engaged to the guy I’d been with for three years (he bought me a ring and everything: Art Deco white gold with a pearl and two little diamonds).
And that seems to be the bulk of the members, aside from those who are just on it for sex. (Jewish-wise, I’m basically dead.) People don’t set me up anymore. So it’s just me and the Internet–and it’s too late for me to understand another website like the cool Nerve personals or OKCupid (just “okay? We were even “Engaged” on Facebook, making it really official.
Haley and I were pleased with ourselves for keeping our privacy while still being engaged Facebookers.
Plus we really are life partners, so why not tell the world?
To this latter group I say one thing: If I wanted to have a casual hookup with a stranger, I’d rather meet an Amazonian named Seamus or Shaquille with rock-hard abs than a 5’6” bespectacled mama’s boy with allergies. Eventually I realized I wasn’t ready to get married.Tags: Adult Dating, affair dating, sex dating