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The initiator of an affair might be the mate who claims to have attraction but feels deprived by the other.

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It’s as if I’m finally freed up to feel my desires.” It is true that many people manage to stay together with virtually little to no physical attraction.

Severe health issues not-withstanding, some of these people are engaged in child-centered marriages or they’ve found a way to sublimate their sexual desire via work, sports, or even substance dependence.

And finally, some people attempt to escape societal pressure or to fit in: A client remarked: “It’s a couple’s-oriented society and I hate feeling like a third wheel.” Many people believe that the importance of physical attraction is overrated.

These individuals contend that other factors such as an emotional connection, friendship, the ability to communicate, the willingness to start a family, and safety and security are just as vital if not more, to sustaining a healthy, long-term relationship. While these factors are important to a viable relationship, so is a passionate, physical attraction.

Oftentimes the couple has never experienced a good sex life and you can discover this by asking about early dating or honeymoon activity.

The least interested partner is often accused of never “initiating” sex, or doing so at the most inopportune times making it less likely to happen.

Others consciously submit to living with a big hole in their lives.

But for many, sooner or later the void craves filling and trouble ensues. In marital therapy, I always request that each partner attends at least one individual session.

And once an affair becomes physical, it will that much harder to stop. This is in part, why I liken an affair to a Zombie: As in any respectable Zombie movie when you think a Zombie is destroyed, it surprises you and comes back again. Nitpicking: When a partner feels trapped in an unhappy relationship they tend to consistently find things wrong with their partner.

The way they smell, the way they eat, the words they use.

And others do so to escape loneliness or to create an instant family.

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