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Look at your past – when you’re hot for a guy, you just sweep the red flags under the rug as if they’re not even there, just so you can keep up that passionate feeling.

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Have you ever dated a guy and thought things were going GREAT between you, only to have him suddenly start being flaky, or stop calling, or vanish all together? She’d put it together in a few hours over a few glasses of wine with her girlfriends. Because when you compare the number of factors that determine whether a guy is date-worthy with the number of factors that determine whether you’re date-worthy, it’s night and day. Men ask two questions: Do I want to sleep with you? All of this is just a long way of stating what every man knows – and most women don’t: We are not nearly as concerned with your merits as much as how you make us FEEL. If you’re fun and easygoing, it makes us enjoy our time together. It makes us want to keep you around forever and ever. My husband has a male friend who broke up with his girlfriend because supposedly, she wasn’t up to his intellectual level.

In my work as a dating coach, this is the number one complaint I hear. I thought the list was so hysterical, that I included it in the first draft of my book. In all my years of dating, I never stopped to dissect the behavior of my female dates. Do I feel good about myself when I’m spending time with you? Which means that all of your amazing qualities may not even matter to him at ALL! You ran a half-marathon and raised twelve thousand dollars for leukemia? Understand, men DO value intelligence, but they also want from their girlfriend what they CAN’T get from their business associates. I have another guy friend who has complained about not being able to have deep discussions with virtually every single girlfriend he has had.

She shouldn’t be figuring out how to be the “cool girl.” She should be figuring out how to punch up her online dating profile to find a better man.

After all, would YOU feel encouraged if your date said any one of the following: Natalie feels chemistry, and, as I’ve pointed out before, chemistry is what allows you to overlook a man’s biggest flaws.

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This will tell the operator that you are online in their café, hotel or pub.So if most men have a measure of integrity and won’t straight-out lie to you about whether they love you or are seeing other women, what do they usually do? Natalie’s guy is a hinter – telling her all the reasons she should stay away from him after sleeping with him – all because he’s a decent guy who wants to feel that he gave her fair warning. I did the exact same thing when I was single, and I’m POSITIVE you’ve had it happen to you as well. Right into a relationship with an emotionally unavailable, messed-up man who is the first to say that he’s probably not ready to embark on something serious. ”This is like booking a seat on the Titanic AFTER you knew it was going to crash. The negative red flags that you will now pay attention to. My advice to Natalie was to tell her friend that she thinks he’s great, but this doesn’t appear to be the best timing. And how quickly he follows up your date to say, “I want to see you again.”That’s it. Let me know if this makes sense to you and if you’ve ever ignored the negatives and had it come back to bite you. When someone says they’re not looking for a relationship BELIEVE them. This, by the way, is totally different to somone saying ‘I love you’ too soon in a relationship. If and when he decides he’s ready, he can give her a call, and if Natalie’s available, she may consider going out with him again. But Natalie’s story really got me thinking about how hard it is to read a man. If we are attracted to you, we’ll sleep with you first and figure out our feelings later.

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