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(Particularly because Sydney and Melbourne have a hilarious rivalry going on, and if you're looking to date a resident from one city, you may have to pretend the other doesn't exist.) Hell, it's possible for Australians to tell which suburb you're from.

Add to that the fact that a lot of us have lived and worked overseas, and it's a toss-up whether any of us sound similar at all.

(Koalas, incidentally, have an incredibly high rate of syphilis and would make very poor pets.) Our wildlife stories will probably be a lot less benign — like that time a kookaburra bashed a snake to death on my terrace, or the summer a possum drowned in my pool. But he wasn't the sensation in Oz that he was in the U. You can't get away with taking us to some sh*tty Chinese joint with gloopy, violent-orange sweet and sour sauce and think we'll be impressed.

"The bush" is any vacant area beyond the outskirts of a city or populated place, and "the Outback" is deep central Australia, the bit with red deserts and giant inexplicable rocks. The thing you barbecue, with the wavy legs and delicious white flesh? Here's another secret, though: charcoal barbecues aren't often our style.

It's likely that we actually had standing, permanent barbecues in our back yards, run by gas cylinders.

So if you're surprised that we're not all six foot, blonde, tanned surfers, you're going to look like an idiot. Not that we haven't tried.)Even if we hate it, we've probably picked up enough knowledge from the communal national obsession that we can hold a decent conversation about swimming, cricket, rugby, or something else where Aussies excel.

We'll probably also have weird nostalgia for athletes you have never heard of — with the exception of Ian Thorpe. Baseball's fine, but gridiron (aka American football)?

Australia had one of the biggest influxes of immigrants in world history after World War II.

It's one of the reasons the food's so good — everybody lives there.

Eurovision is an incredibly strange song contest and European tradition that, for some reason, has been utterly beloved by Australians for years. We love it so much we managed to get our own contestant, despite being as far away from Europe as it's possible to be.

It's strange, and several anthropology Ph Ds are probably being written about it, but it's just a thing. If we say we once had one, we're f*cking with you or making fun of your drunken friends.

That originated in Melbourne, among Australian Italian immigrants.

There's a reason so many good baristas are Australian.

Sure, we're weirdly specific about coffee, psychotically patriotic, especially when caught in other countries (the national sporting colors are green and gold, by the way), prone to getting weepy at Qantas ads, and peculiarly ignorant about the rules of baseball, but we're a pretty cool country.

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