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Perhaps the player selects a domineering partner because s/he does not like to take risks and try new things, such as taking up photography or going back to school...
The NIGYSOB player is Externaling contempt and hostility while the partner who plays "Kick Me" Internalizes it.
When played by a couple, the game is usually triggered suddenly when -- for various possible "reasons" -- the NIGYSOB player flips into a fit of rage over a perceived slight made by the "Kick Me" player.
In these cases, learning the games we play so that we can choose harmless ones and/or develop intimacy skills can do a world of good.
Games that cause pain and wreck relationships are the ones that need to be identified and brought into conscious awareness so they can be stopped and replaced -- either by learning true intimacy skills or choosing games that do not cause harm to either party.
By staying unaware of his or her part in the game, through the use of repression or suppression, the player's complaints of "If it weren't for you..." keeps her partner feeling uneasy and gives the player various advantages in the relationship -- i.e., a "card to play" in a disagreement etc.
In a relationship mind game of NIGYSOB the player selects a partner who frequently plays "Kick Me"...
The "Kick Me" player knows from frequent experience what the buttons are that trigger the NIGYSOB player (usually jealousy and/or rage), yet cannot seem to keep from pushing them...
It genuinely seems to be an "accident" to the "Kick Me" player because, like all games, it's a relationship mind game played by the Child ego state at a subconscious level.
especially if we've been through a bad relationship experience.Tags: Adult Dating, affair dating, sex dating