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She was only 24, but she had had lots of relationships, and long ones.The secret for that, I discovered, was that all of them were dated during the same period of 3 years, at the same time.

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10) : She misses many of your calls, she does not reply to your emails, or she does not try to gain your trust...

You feel you are giving her all the time but you don't get anything in return except sex once in a while (if she sees you're angry).

Clearly, I understand the concept of privacy, but such behaviour is a clear indicator that your Indonesian girl is hiding something. If you believe that, then you can ask her about the previous men she was dating.

I remember my ex was very confuse about it: She was telling me about her Dutch guy with whom she had been for 3 years, her American guy she had dated for 2 and a half year, her German guy that she had loved for 4 years, etc.

Prostitutes are not a precise category of the population like in Europe: Things are more complicated: In any given night club in Jakarta, you will meet many girls who will be ready to sleep with you without giving too much thought about whether they like you or not: You are an expat, presumably rich, and they know they may get what she wants later.

Those “prostitutes” do not look like hookers: They are young, cute, and they seem so nice that it is hard to imagine what is behind their smiles: That doesn’t mean you should stop enjoying your time in Jakarta: If the sex with her is good and you are not emotionally attached, I say don't pay too much attention to it, but then protect yourself and do not fall in love.

If you have experienced or observed on other expat/bargirl couples some behaviours that could help other readers determine how sincere their relationship is, please feel free to share with us!

All of it still applies and I stand by what I have written.

: You are an expat living in Jakarta involved in a relationship with an Indonesian girl? We know that the bar scene in Indonesia is very adventurous, and though it is easy to meet a decent girl, you may also end up with someone whose only interest is to suck you dry. There are a lot of expressions to designate these girls but my favourite term is "Professional Girlfriend": Her job, the one activity that earns her revenue, is to be your girlfriend, or to make you believe she is. There are some easy things to spot in her behaviour that will help you guess if she's faking the whole thing or not.

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