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"Fisting is a safe activity, provided that both the top and bottom are sober at the time," said Dr. "It does not cause damage or constipation or any other type of bowel problem.The same applies to other anal sexual activities including anal receptive intercourse (getting fucked) and use of toys (dildos, vibrators, etc.) for anal stimulation—again assuming this is voluntary on the part of the bottom and that both partners are not under the influence of mind-altering drugs during sexual activity." (For safety's sake, of course, buttfuckers should use condoms and gay and bi men get should get on Pr EP.) While many people engage in anal play while under the influence of drugs or alcohol, and most emerge unscathed, uninfected, and un-constipated, FIST, getting fucked up before fisting is not a butt sex best practice.

A fucked-up top can quickly become an out-of-control top, and a fucked-up bottom can be numb to feelings of discomfort that mean "slow down," "stop and add more lube," or "stop altogether." Despite the fact that millions of people safely engage in anal play, many people believe that anal play does irreparable harm to the anus—or the soul—and that sadly includes many doctors.

"There is a misconception that these activities can cause damage by stretching or tearing the tissue, when actually the anus is very elastic and much of the 'permission to enter' actually involves intentional relaxation of the muscles by the bottom" and not force applied by the top, Dr. (The top applies gentle pressure, the bottom breathes, relaxes, and opens up.) "If a person suffers from constipation, that should be addressed as its own problem and not blamed on any type of anal sexual activity," said Dr. "In addition: For obvious reasons, it's not fun to bottom if you're constipated, so it would be good to have this problem evaluated and treated by a nonjudgmental health-care provider who understands that anal penetration—by fist, penis, or dildo—does not cause constipation." Finally, FIST, your doctor was misinformed, which is not helpful.

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Do it at a neutral time (a time when you can't have sex), so she doesn't feel like you're attempting to initiate by raising the subject.

First, ask her if she enjoyed oral when she allowed you to go down on her.

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